In 2015, I wrote the most enigmatic of all the books that I’ve written. Why Women Cheat: Confessions of a Pickup Artist. it is also my best selling title, with no advertising. Before you rush to get a copy, it isn’t a detailed work on why women cheat, and it is also all about why women cheat.
This paradox is necessary as it is the nature of women. More on this in the next post. The purpose of this post is to tell you the purpose of the book, not try to explain it.
I’ve said very little about myself in the Starfleet Papers. I suppose its time I told you more about me.
I’ve never existed here. The person I pretended to be was always a fiction. My whole life, I had to hide or suffer greatly. For most of my time on this planet, I felt nothing.
Even that is paradoxical. The truth is i felt nothing and I felt everything, at the same time. I just forgot how i really felt.
There were two of me, one who knows and one who forgets. The one who knows had been literally fighting me over random things. Until in 2012, I completely surrendered. I promised to do whatever he asked, or surrender the body under some conditions:
- I will only tell the truth.
- I will not break the law.
- I can reject what he wants if I feel unsafe. (This is Step One in the ASCA handbook.
The first thing he asked me to do is give away all that I had and be homeless. When I refused the next day, he told me to write down all the bad things that I’ve done, and that was done to me.
I couldn’t call safety. So I did it. I wrote Violent Tremors: Journey to Overcome the Legacy of Slavery. The underlying premise is that I had finally gotten over violent panic attacks. It’s not a well written book, and I didn’t consider myself a writer at the time. I spent around a year writing and crying. It’s more like vomit.
I had dated many women, but by the time I finished writing Violent Tremors, I was celibate. It was a choice that I made, because I didn’t want anyone touching me. I would start shaking if a woman touched me. After I busted the lips of three different women, I told myself I wouldn’t go out sarging anymore.
As I told you, there were two of me. I would try and be with a women, and he would punch, elbow, or headbutt a woman, and bust their lips. There was nothing violent. Just light accidents that busted lips. He knows I don’t like the math of STD’s. A busted lip will end things immediately. I stopped picking up women because I didn’t want that to happen again.
I had no desire, since February of 2012. But after writing Violent Tremors, I wanted to go out and be with another woman. This may seem like a problem. But as I told you, I was empty. I didn’t care either way. From my perspective, there were two ‘feelings’ that need to work things out.
I told them to work it out, and I’ll do whatever they want. After some time, they commanded me to write another book. That book was Why Women Cheat. What was the purpose? Though it’s not explicitly clear in the book, it was to find one woman, without sarging.
While my vocabulary is more refined now. At the time, I was to implore “Womanness” to find this single woman for me. I’m secretive and creative, as I remember the secrecy went seven levels deep.
I don’t recall the levels, I was just terrified. It was like an unnecessary exposure. But the plan was to, in my words today, implore the Goddess to find me a mate. How was this supposed to happen?
The book was on the surface a guide for me to understand women. That’s the first level. But also, I hired three different female writers from around the world to respond to what I wrote.
The second level was a demonstration, to the somehow all-knowing Womanness. The women were to respond to what I wrote called, “Emotional Combinations.” I wrote Emotional Combinations in order reach this Womanness. I the book, I called her the “Inner Woman.” All three spoke of this entity.
Who were the female writers? First there was the Eastern European named Lola Key. She was kind of single, in her late twenties to early thirties. She was memorable because she was the first one to respond to my ad, she paid extra to be at the top, requested half the fee, and half the time. And before anyone else even made a post she had written pages of insults.
She started by stating that she had been waiting her whole life for this. Then really laid into me for a few pages. Then she concluded that, no way an expletive like me would ever hire her for the project.
I picked her first. She was highly enthusiastic about the project, wrote well, and was very capable of expressing herself. I’m glad that she wrote for me.
The next writer was a native English speaking American named Chan. None of them used their real names. She was in her mid to late 30’s, in a committed long-term relationship, and was a politically active feminist. Though I can’t confirm it, I’m positive she was out protesting with a pussy hat. I think she had the same energy as Lola. But she was very diplomatic about it.
Her proposal was very good, and the last line was “I’ll only kick your ass if you need it.” Since she was a native English speaker, I asked her to edit the book as well. I didn’t edit a single word any of the three wrote.
The last was Claudia. She was much older than the other two, from South America. She was married for over thirty years. I picked her because she was so pleasant and nice. She didn’t promise to hurt me at all. She balanced the other women out. Not everyone is spicy.
How was it supposed to find me a woman? I went on some radio interviews and was repulsed. People wanted me to talk about all the sex I was having. I was celibate at the time. And also, at the time, I understood that women were connected somehow. If I went on the radio bragging, Womanness would be upset.
After the last interview, I cancelled some, the rest cancelled themselves. I’ve subsequently had no interest in women. I’ve been celibate since February of 2012 and I’m alright with it.
It just so happens that some of the topics in the book are relevant to Summoning the Goddess.
How about we try and figure out what Womanness is?